FUN

Mick and I went to my school's faculty Christmas party tonight. FUN FUN FUN!! Sorry, no pictures, TOO busy eating, drinking and laughing! We always have this at The Shamrock. Always the person who is in charge of the party thinks of ways to humiliate us (in fun). We never know what she will do with the footage she shoots. She will ask us to participate in advance of the party...then we have to wait and wonder how goofy we will look. THIS year she wanted us to sing........of course, I chose a John Fogerty song...Who'll Stop the Rain. So, what did she do with this footage? She turned it into a "Shamrock Idol" show. We watched the "auditions" which was what she had filmed (needless to say I did not make the final cut...no one appreciates a good Creedence song!!) Six people were the choices for finalists...then of course, Randy, Ellen and Simon were there (and Ryan Seacrest). My principal was one of the (inebriated) joyful contestants! However, one of the other faculty members who did an AWESOME rendition of "Family Tradition" won and rightfully so!

After this she showed us a few emails she had saved over the past year....I made it to the stupid email list twice....deservedly, however!

Oh, and I won a door prize...a cd...Stevie Ray Vaughn...which I gave to Mick.

I had an awesome (have I used that word before??) dinner....Bourbon glazed salmon, real mashed potatoes and green beans and a really good salad. Mick had the prime rib...I tasted it and ...oh mama!! If it had not been so rare, he might have had to fight me for it!
We both had pound cake baked by one of the faculty...it was SOOOOOOO good!

I forgot to mention, we had decided we would have a glass of wine (rare for us)...Mick said, "You really don't want a glass of wine do you? Why don't you go ahead and have.......YES....He SAID it!!! He said TEQUILA!!!!! He really had to twist my arm and beg....and I relented and had some....that was some of the best tequila ever! ( I sure miss good tequila!!!). One could barely see traces of orange juice....mmmmmmmmmm.

Ok...well...we had a good time, needless to say. Now...back to reality tomorrow...

Thankful, again

Saturday was frightening. A black SUV slammed into my Taurus. It was no competition...in a flash my tires were bent, water was pouring from under my car and my two little grandsons and I sat stunned. I won't go into details here....and some of you have already seen the pictures...so all I ask is prayer that everything goes the way it should go...and I get another good car.

Please join me in thanking God for taking care of us. I can't tell Him thank you enough.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. (those of you on Facebook will see this twice, sorry, but wanted to be sure all the family saw it).

Today was a very good day for me (the 26th). All of my daughters, sons in law and grandchildren and husband were together at one time for dinner, thanks to a surprise visit from the three in Florida!!!!!
I bought a really cute skirt today.
And I spent the day with my very best friend in the whole wide world...I can hear those ocean waves!

Thank you, God, for this day. And please let the weekend move slowly...

Can't Wait!!

I am putting an old picture back on my blog, but one that I LOVE. I took this picture myself (although I am not a good photographer) when I visited Ireland two summers ago. We are going BACK this summer and I am beside myself with joy! My sweet husband needs to see his family and I am happy to oblige him. I never thought I would love it as much as I do. I always wanted to go to Ireland for as far back as I can remember...but when I went there...there are few words to describe the awesome beauty. I have never seen anything like it. Adding to that the warmth of a new family, it has everything. I hope one day we will be able to go there to spend the entire summer (or what little of it the Board of Education will be giving me by then....)

So, one thing I am thankful for this year? FAMILY and the ability to visit ALL of them.

Fun, fun

Having so much fun meeting new people! That has always been difficult for me in the past, but having quite a blast with it lately. Thanks y'all!

crazy days

The last few days of school have been confusing, crazy and maddening. Something happened that has never happened before and I was incensed. I was a good girl, so to speak, and walked away from the confrontation. I didn't want to. I wanted to snap, slap, something...but the icing on the cake was my principal stood up for me. She took care of "someone I care about". That made the entire thing so much easier. I feel better, I feel vindicated. I can stop obsessing. NOW if I can just get the kids to pass the &$#($*#&@)(****&&&@!@ EOCT!!!!!

Gavin

................for peace.............comes dropping.......sssssssllllllllllllllooooooowwwwww..............

a piece of my heart is in heaven

I miss you and love you, sweet, sweet baby

argh

again

On my way again to Williams Funeral Home in Milledgeville...my aunt Sadie.

Sometimes I have the overwhelming feeling of being alone...and sometimes, I really am alone.

AMAZING!

AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING DAY!!!!!!! HOPE IS ALIVE! I CAN rise up from the ashes! My heart and prayers are with you always John and Kelly! THANK YOU for sharing the miracle with us!

Today....I felt this post from the past was appropriate...because it has proven once again to be true.....I did dare...and I did disturb the universe...but this time I was not caught by surprise...just saddened at the truth and immediate loss. I can't have a feeling contrary to what others believe I should have without losing that someone...so what IS real friendship? What IS real love when it so easily says "you are not worth the effort"? I reread the response to this post...and marveled.
"I live much of my life walking on these. Sometimes I wonder where the eggshells end and the real talk begins...or if it exists really. Ok, that's cryptic, but that's the best an eggshell walker can do. It's a tiring journey. Honesty comes with quite a price. One I am most often not willing to pay. I prefer to not ripple the waters, to begin another metaphor. It has been my experience that one must learn one's place in life, then decide if it is worth it to live in that place or move on. Well, I say that, but in some cases, as with children, moving on is not an option. I am not quite sure what my point is, but I sometimes wonder if I have ever had a time in my life, my real life, that I was able to really just be me and not the me that was acceptable to others. For instance, getting aggravated. That seems much like a luxury, and one I am often not afforded. It is probably that way with everyone I imagine. Not being able to be aggravated if someone irritates me, or makes me feel small, or makes me feel dispensable leads to a feeling of ...I want to say worthlessness, but I don't really think that is the word as I don't really feel worthless to me...but perhaps the better way to describe it is taken for granted. I have in my past attempted at various times with various people tried to (oh so delicately) express this feeling, which usually ends up quite an ugly mess and I feel worse (as it is, of course, my fault, my misinterpretation, my pathos, MY something, anything but a legitimate feeling that someone else would take ownership of causing...it ususally sounds like "oh Mama, you are always so.....(fill in the blank) about things" or "Oh, good grief Sally, you always think (fill in the blank) and that's just not true." Always. Big word. And what they are really saying is my feelings are not valid, especially if they are related to pain I apparently imagined I felt as a result of some apparently nonexistent cause which I must have also imagined... so, I gingerly walk on the eggshells, day in and day out, each day feeling less and less passionate."

I shall have some peace

I will arise and go now, and go to Innisfree,
And a small cabin build there, of clay and wattles made:
Nine bean-rows will I have there, a hive for the honey-bee;
And live alone in the bee-loud glade.

And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow,
Dropping from the veils of the morning to where the cricket sings;
There midnight's all a glimmer, and noon a purple glow,
And evening full of the linnet's wings.

I will arise and go now, for always night and day
I hear lake water lapping with low sounds by the shore;
While I stand on the roadway, or on the pavements grey,
I hear it in the deep heart's core

decisions and revisions

(fragments)

There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate;
...........

And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, “Do I dare?” and, “Do I dare?”
Time to turn back and descend the stair,
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair—
..................................

Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

For I have known them all already, known them all:—
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
So how should I presume?
.......................................

And would it have been worth it, after all,
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
Would it have been worth while,
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To roll it toward some overwhelming question,
To say: “I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all”—
If one, settling a pillow by her head,
Should say: “That is not what I meant at all.
That is not it, at all.”

And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worth while,
After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,
After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor—
And this, and so much more?—
It is impossible to say just what I mean!

BACK!

The daughter, the son-in-law, the grandson, the beach, the art festival, the water...the water...the husband and me...

but I am now back to reality.

But SOON, again soon...the daughter, the son-in-law, the GRANDSON, the beach, the beach...the husband and me...

THE BEACH!!!!!!!!!!

I am so VERY excited! Thursday night Mick and I are off on a tiny vacation! First, we will stay a day or so at the beach! Walk on the sand, lunch at Barbara Jean's (YUM), dinner at Seajay's, browsing at Go Fish, sitting on the pier, and just being. How much my soul longs for and needs the sea. Everything always seems better there...."heartaches are healed by the sea"....and I need that.
THEN, off to see Bud! I miss him SOOOOO much, my little grandson who is such a man!
All this will be so, so, so wonderful! I am giddy with excitement!!!
Booking the rooms tonight!!! YIPPEE, YAHOO and YEEEEHAAAWWW!
By the way, John Fogerty...no, we can't come to Nashville...at least not as far as I can tell at the moment...but OH MY GOD thanks for ASKING!!!! Of course, you probably won't see that message here but on Twitter.
Life.

Random Thought

When out to lunch recently with friends, it struck me a little more than usual that the math involved is flawed. We had to use two tables. Four of us at one table and two at the other. Ok, so far. Then the waiter brings plates (of course we were at a buffet!!) Three plates for the table of two. Five plates for the table of four. See anything odd?

So we pondered...as I often do...and realized of course that at fancier restaurants when the basket of bread is brought...there are always three rolls for two people. Always the odd number. Is this in hopes of instigating a fight among patrons? Do they think this will encourage us to ask for one more, thus insuring a tip because we had to ask for something? I just don't know! Having never been too good at math, I have not thought on this too long. I asked my friend who is a math teacher...she had not noticed this strange phenomena before that moment. She is still pondering. To add to the mystery, I informed my friends that I had noticed when paying for a meal or anything else as a couple, they always hand the change or card to the woman, even if the man pays for it. Another math puzzle! At any rate, I don't know how I can possibly worry about global warming, going green and Obama in the White House while I have this mystery with which to concern myself.

YIPPEE!

I am ecstatic! My favorite singer has sent me another personal tweet message!!
BUT, more to come!! One of my all time favorite poets, Judson Mitcham is going to create a workshop and come to my school for me! WOW OH WOW!!!!!!!!! How much better can it get???? (ok, it can get better...but right now this is the GREATEST!!)
Whew!
John Fogerty........Gerald Boyd........Judson Mitcham......I can hardly get my breath!!!
Yay me!

FOR ONCE!!

Ok, for ONCE I agree with President Obama! Yes, Kanye IS a jackass!

Eggshells

I live much of my life walking on these. Sometimes I wonder where the eggshells end and the real talk begins...or if it exists really. Ok, that's cryptic, but that's the best an eggshell walker can do. It's a tiring journey. Honesty comes with quite a price. One I am most often not willing to pay. I prefer to not ripple the waters, to begin another metaphor. It has been my experience that one must learn one's place in life, then decide if it is worth it to live in that place or move on. Well, I say that, but in some cases, as with children, moving on is not an option. I am not quite sure what my point is, but I sometimes wonder if I have ever had a time in my life, my real life, that I was able to really just be me and not the me that was acceptable to others. For instance, getting aggravated. That seems much like a luxury, and one I am often not afforded. It is probably that way with everyone I imagine. Not being able to be aggravated if someone irritates me, or makes me feel small, or makes me feel dispensable leads to a feeling of ...I want to say worthlessness, but I don't really think that is the word as I don't really feel worthless to me...but perhaps the better way to describe it is taken for granted. I have in my past attempted at various times with various people tried to (oh so delicately) express this feeling, which usually ends up quite an ugly mess and I feel worse (as it is, of course, my fault, my misinterpretation, my pathos, MY something, anything but a legitimate feeling that someone else would take ownership of causing...it ususally sounds like "oh Mama, you are always so.....(fill in the blank) about things" or "Oh, good grief Sally, you always think (fill in the blank) and that's just not true." Always. Big word. And what they are really saying is my feelings are not valid, especially if they are related to pain I apparently imagined I felt as a result of some apparently nonexistent cause which I must have also imagined... so, I gingerly walk on the eggshells, day in and day out, each day feeling less and less passionate.

It's official! My Hero in Education is coming to my school to help us create and implement real standards based classrooms. I am so excited, nervous, happy, apprehensive and awestruck! After becoming the PL person for my school it occured to me I could dream to make this happen...and it DID! I know, I know, I sound like a kid with hero worship, and maybe I feel like that a little bit. I always feel a little intimidated by what I consider greatness, but want to be near it to better myself. My association with the organization GCTE has opened SO many doors for me, not to mention opened my eyes to many things I am doing right and wrong in my classroom. I am giddy! Finally, perhaps, my colleagues will enjoy some of the new found exuberance for teaching that I get each time I attend the GCTE conference and hear people like my hero speak. Ok, enough gushing about that.

Duh

Just realized I had my comment section on moderation. Figures. Sorry. I am a bit out of sorts.

I am getting that "getting sick" wilting feeling....THAT CAN'T HAPPEN!!

It is SO odd (ADD moment) that I MISS the calm darkness and the lulling hum of an airplane. Who would have ever believed???? But now, the world is an open playland.

Exhausted

I can't believe it has only been a little over a week and I am already exhausted! School is kicking me! It will be ok. I really enjoy my classe, but so many new things...and then there's the furlough...and the new position (which I love but am still struggling to learn what I need to know). It is very interesting to learn about new things in my career, but I have a habit of feeling like I am not worthy of the trust people seems to put in me. I am working on that weakness!
But for now...all I want is sleep, sleep, sleep!!!
I need another trip to IRELAND!!! A nice long trip!!
Is there an echo in here?

Restaurant Rant

Ok...I thought I had seen rude people and been in some situations with rude people, but this evening, Mick and I went to Chili's for dinner. It was not very busy, but when we went in the hostess said, "I have a table outside or a high table if you want one of those or you can wait ten or fifteen minutes." Anyone who knows me knows I don't do the outside or tall chair thing, so we politely opted to wait. A couple of women walked in a few seconds after we sat down. The hostess said, "I can seat you outside, at a high top table or I have a small booth in the dining room"...they took the booth. Mick and I are a little bit slow to catch on, but we did find this a bit disconcerting. BUT, when it happened again less than a minute later...another couple, same choices and voila a seat! I could not stand it, I said to the girl, "pardon me, but we were here first and you did not offer us booths in the dining room. Why?" She said, "well, I could seat you in there but I did not want to overwork my waitress". Ok, so does that mean by just looking at us she could tell we were going to overwork HER waitress!! I could not believe she stood in front of us and seated two couples who came in after us!! We did ask for the manager, the manager apologized and said she would "investigate". We did eat, and it was pretty good. The overworked waitress was kind and was tipped appropriately.

Anyway, just venting.

Seattle

We, my husband Mick and I, had a GREAT time visiting my sister in Seattle, Washington.

She tried too hard to entertain us with seeing the sights, although I kept telling her we came to see HER. I took photos, but my camera is not the type I needed to capture the breathtaking scenery.

I did see things that I had never seen before. I did not know that Seattle (and the little towns surrounding it) was covered with Christmas trees!! I loved that the mountains (the Cascades, the Olympics, Mt. Ranier...) surrounded the area and I could enjoy them without having to go ON them (although, my husband and sister kept teasing me that we would). I loved that the mountains had snow on top. I have only seen that in pictures and tv.

I saw the Puget Sound, beautiful.

The park at the Puget Sound (forgot the name, sorry) many people chillin' out, picnics, kids playing, and, yes, tightrope walking practice!!

I also saw the Space Needle (was not as impressed with that as I thought I would be).

We went to Pikes Market...we paid $21 to PARK, walk and then NOT be impressed at all. Tried to get a photo of the salmon being tossed, but not quick enough. It was not that amazing, a man, a fish, a toss. I paid too much to see that. I liked the shops near the piers much better. Ye Olde Curiosity Shop was TOO cool. I also like the pirate shop next to it. Among many things at the curio shop were these shrunken heads...sort of reminded me of my classroom, they look about that bored....(did I say that out loud???)

Of course we had to visit Microsoft! Alas, Mr. Gates did not come out and give me any money or a computer... My daughters are HUGE Twilight fans. The second movie, New Moon was being filmed in Vancouver while we were in Washington. I took this picture purely to torture my daughters. I also had to tell them I was only a couple of hours away from Forks, Washington. : )
This is a sign outside some little bar in downtown Seattle. I took this only because it was interesting.Interestingly, they have some risque coffee "shops"! Some advertised "Sexy baristas" and others "Hot coffee, hot girls"....that was new! There was also a Starbucks on every corner (literally) and various and sundry other coffee shops (that varied from the sexy baristas to very quaint and nice local shops) I am in coffee withdrawal!! (yes...that says the baristas are in lingerie and that word IS PASTIES not pasteries!!)
Another oddity was the tattoo ambulance! I guess in Seattle there are emergency tattoo situations! LOL!! Not sure why it is called "ENEMY"... (actually, we also saw a pizza delivery ambulance! No coffee ambulance...curious!!) OH, that reminds me, the only siren I remember was downtown Seattle when a ship load of PIRATES sailed down the middle of the street with a siren going (it was some special pirate day apparently! HOW FUNNY!! I didn't get a picture because it was so unexpected!)

The very best part though was long, nostalgic conversations with my sister.

When we got home on Thursday we suffered a bit of jet lag, but still got up on Friday and drove 5 hours to Florida to see my daughter. Later!

My Daddy

God, how I miss you.

Franny and Zooey

I just finished reading this novel by J.D. Salinger for the second time. The first time I was about 13 or 14 I guess. I remember how much I loved the book. On the second reading I now wonder why I loved it so much. Not that it is a bad book, it isn't, I love it now, but as an adult I wonder why my child self loved it. I was very "political" and seeking religion as well. I thought of myself as a savvy kid. I was, in fact, very naive about the meanness in life, but marveled at the workings of life. I wanted to be in the middle of action. I was too young, so I read about it. So, for a few years this book would come across my mind and I would think I should reread it since it obviously had a memorable effect on me. I was almost disturbed that it did on my second reading.
Anyway, more on that later.
Sleepy now and kind of hyped up about my trip to Seattle coming up.

De ja vu, but different

I am in the great city of Valdosta. This city hates me....well, ok, maybe not the city but the streets do! I get lost...not just a little lost, but a whole lot lost in this city when I come. The place I need to go tomorrow is less than 4 miles away...how could I get lost??? I have a knack for that. It spills over into many areas of my life...but that is another story...
Today I rode around, and around and some squares and rectangles! I finally found where I needed to be, but realized I didn't know exactly HOW I did it and HOW to get back!! Ok, so that meant more round and round...so here I sit, hopeful that I will make it to my destination tomorrow ON TIME and with SOME SENSE and LOW blood pressure!!

This venture is to learn more so I can teach advanced placement students...it is all educational...

LAST time, my very best friend in the whole wide world consented to come with me so I would not be alone...and, of course, we promptly got lost!! Although, her keen observational skills alerted me to the fact that there were familar signs to guide us (LOL, LOL).

LAST time...it was because someone thought I had some sort of talent, and the college I attended paid for me. I wish I had appreciated that more...not that I didn't think I was 100% appreciative, mind you, but NOW I know so much more how rare it is that people look at your core, not what you can DO FOR THEM.
Rant over, I need to go to sleep for the BIG DAY!!! Keep your fingers crossed I don't GET LOST (either for real or metaphorically!!!)

it's a great day!

First, I heard from my favorite musician in all the world!!! I am totally psyched! It was because of this man that my husband and I met! (long story for another blogtime).
Secondly, I now have a "personal trainer" who is setting up a regime for me that will match my specific needs (umm...except the lazy need).
Third, I am still meeting with my Bible study buddy to try to dig through the rubble...
I am anxious to get my life on a new path. I am anxious to actually LIVE my life and stopped bumbling and stumbling through it. Sounds easy, but for me it is SO not. I am a worrier, insecure often and have that syndrome when you may actually be good at something but you fear people will find out you are faking.

Neurotic? Maybe. LOL
ANYway...getting off to a new way of living.
Yee haw!
S.

New!

New blog, new day, new ME! Yippee! Sounds a little childish, doesn't it? I think for too long I have forgotten how to be a child. I have forgotten how to enjoy life. I have forgotten that to just be me and just be with me is a good thing. I have tried for so many years to be what I thought others expected of me. I thought I had to do this to keep relationships. Well, that IS true, or at least it has been true for me in the past, but I believe there is a better way. I am on a quest now to find out who I really am and who may want to go on a similar quest. Anyone up for the challenge?
Blessings and adventures,
Sallie